Chars Life and Times

As I mentioned the other day, my depression was getting the best of me. I was depressed and terribly tired all day long. I don’t know how many times I fell asleep at my computer. I would wake up after having slept for about 8 or 9 hours, only to eat my breakfast and then be sleepy again. After about five more hours, I would finally be awake enough to get some work done. That would last for about eight hours and I’d go to bed again. 

I went to my doctor on Thursday and he really dosed me up. He raised my Welbutrin XL from 300 mg a day to 450 mg a day. He wanted to up it to 900 mg a day, but the pharmacist advised that that amount was too high and that 450 mg was the maximum allowed otherwise it could cause seizures and I sure don’t need that.

He also started me on a seven day trial of Provigil. I got a coupon from their website and was able to get the seven pills for free. He said that if it worked, I could call and get a full month prescription. It has definitely worked wonders. On Friday, I was able to get up, eat breakfast, take my pills and I stayed awake!!! That felt so good! I take half a pill when I get up and the other half about halfway through the day. It feels so good to not be dopey and sluggish all day. I love it! Also the medicine doesn’t make me anxious, nervous or anything.

I’ll let you know how it goes the rest of the week.  

About two weeks ago, I was feeling really depressed. I was so bad that at times I just wanted to go to my room, shut the door and go to sleep-like all day long. I was tired all day long but couldn’t sleep most of the night. Some days I didn’t even know if I fed the dogs or not. Even my hubby was concerned about me and he pleaded with me to call my psychologist. 

Every year around Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have a hard time getting through the holidays. I know this and try to get by the best way I know how. This year, I evidently did not do a very good job. 
I talked to my psychologist and she made an appointment for me with the psychiatrist. I went to see him and told him what was going on, and he changed my daytime depression medicine and added to my night time medicine so I could sleep at night and feel better during the day. 

I’ve been on this medicine for about a week and a half and I’m afraid I’m going to have to call him back on Tuesday. I’m sleeping great at night, in fact too good. I can sleep 10 hours get up, eat something and then be so sleepy for the next five hours. I am falling asleep in my computer chair and I’m not getting anything done! It seems after the five hours are up, I’m not depressed and feeling much better, but this can’t go on. I thought it would get better because the doctor said to give it two weeks and call him if I wasn’t better. Well, since he is not in on Mondays, I will give him a call on Tuesday and see what can be done.

Such is my life with depression. It seems to never stop. 

After writing this blog for almost two months now, I have realized I cannot continue writing about my life without including depression.

I was diagnosed with depression about 25 years ago when my son was very little. I was working full time at an office job at the time, along with trying to raise a small son and living with an alcoholic husband. I started to see a physiologist that was referred to me by my internist. I started on medicine and it seemed to help a lot at the time.

Over the years, my son has grown up and is now 26 years old, and I divorced the alcoholic husband and am now on disability and not working outside the home. I am married to a very caring man and have been for almost 10 years. I am on disability because of the depression and also because of a degenerated disk in my back that causes me extreme pain at times.

Depression affects most days of my life. I will give more details on how it affecting me at the present time tomorrow.